The Baboon Torture Division web domain background image is now for sale in stunning 3D. No glasses required. This crazy monkey pops out of the canvas and into your livingroom or office. Mounted in a 13 x 19 light box with handy on/off switch. This image is backlit and appears about as bright as a computer screen.
For almost 20 years, the Baboon Torture Division web site has run on classic HTML. While this added a certain ‘retro’ flavor to the website, it was also a beast to update. The blog section in particular, done with classic HTML tables, was often misaligned, or had mysterious blank spots, and would take many iterations of trial and error to get anything looking reasonably ok. The cumbersome nature of the updates meant that they were coming less frequently. It saddens us to lay the 2000’s site to rest, but time marches forward. Here’s hoping we get 20 years before WordPress becomes obsolete.
Baboon Torture Division made terror-core music using samples from a dollar store kung fu DVD. The original video is available on youtube, if this unofficial trailer compels you to watch it. The plot is nearly incomprehensible, but ninjas and hopping vampires show up a few times, so it’s cool.
Steve Biloba celebrates 4:20 with a show from the Baboon Lair, deep beneath Los Angeles. Since no additional band members were available, Steve has used technology to replace the drummer and bassist. In a test of computer endurance, pitch tracking is adding a bass part and strategically timed loops keep bass and rhythm parts jamming along.
Had your fill of Easy Listening, and Normal Listening? Challenge seekers, it’s time to turn up the difficulty level all the way. Difficult Listening is a 45 minute sound collage/remix of things nobody should be listening to. You will be force fed a steaming pile of Limp Bizkit, bubblegum techno, yodelling, polka, Jar Jar Binks and corporate training videos. It is a mashup regrettable moments in entertainment’s past, looped and blended with backing synth tracks, hardcore techno beats, and weird noises. Each ‘song’ is blended into the next making a stream of consciousness string of pearls made of highly polished bullshit. How tough do you think your ears are? Most people will never find out, because they have never faced a real challenge like this. In terms of difficulty, this album is the Mount Everest of music, and only the toughest can make it all the way to the peak. Don’t let this opportunity pass you by. Time to find out what your ears are made of. TAKE THE CHALLENGE
Baboon Torture Division gives the treatment to Eiffel 65 in this high energy remix of their terrible 90’s song about Playstation. Vocoder and auto-tune have been added to the already lovely vocal contributions of Vancouver artists, Dave von Dave, Rob E. Rob, and OATS.
Baboon Torture Division gives the treatment to Tarzan and Jane by Toy Box. Steve Biloba has always felt a particular kinship with the character, Tarzan, because both Tarzan and Steve were raised drinking ape milk. Here is DJ Stevie B’s Raised on Ape Milk Remix of a Barbie Girl knockoff band doing a song from the late 1990’s about Tarzan and Jane. We are putting the Aine back in Tarzan and Jane.
A fiendish lizard of the deep crept into the nightmares of DJ Stevie B as he slumbered. Through its slithering tongue, it issued a dare. A dare most treacherous; to make a four and a half minute song using only a drum machine and samples of Jar Jar Binks. The creature said ‘Do this within a fortnight, lest I return to give you such a scare as to soil your trousers whilst you sleep. Such shall be the force of the ejection, your very entrails shall be pushed inside out, and there shall dangle and sway. What a mess for you to clean up. What humiliation you will know, as you employ four fingers in the foul business of pushing your pink sock back where nature intended’
Steve Biloba, with much trepidation, succeeded in crafting such a Gungan jam as to make the crowd live. Vanquished for now, the lizard has not been seen since.
Baboon Torture Division pays tribute to one of the fiercest gorgeous ladies of Wresting, the hi flying Jungle Woman. Featuring authentic original UK jungle beats and re-edited video of Jungle Woman dishing out beat downs.
Steve Biloba has made a crude pre-visualization of an idea Gwen Stefani could use during her stage show. This performance would be specifically during the Hollaback Girl song, which Steve would remix live during her dance number. The remix would consist of rhythmically mashing a sampler loaded with only the part of the song where she spells bananas. This demo will be included on the upcoming album, Difficult Listening, available in 2020.
We start shrinking When we hit that grill you know we will. Here is the next track for the upcoming album. It is a remix of a 1989 Wendy’s training video. Its a heavy EDM track comprised of 4 oscillators, a drum machine, and a corporate training video.
Streaming on Youtube
Started as an audio remix only, but the video is too good to leave out. Luckily, you can drop most videos into Ableton and edit like you would audio an audio clip.
Original video is Wendy’s Grill Skills, a training video from 1989. The footage used here is from just a few minutes of a 15 minute hallucinatory hip hop foodservice adventure. It is worth looking up if you have enjoyed this, and you will learn some cooking techniques along the way.
Another day, another hustle for BTD drummer CS7. While trying to drum up some hype for his band down at the local IHOP, he is spotted by a passing spacecraft, whose crew is on a mission to prevent aliens like himself from interfering in the culture of a pre-warp civilization. When CS7 gets a shot at playing his CD for a major music mogul, the Zolg intervene. Song: Fresh Ranch Dressing by Baboon Torture Division from their 2010 album, Background Music For A Party. Album: https://baboontorturedivision.bandcamp.com/album/background-music-for-a-party Video by Steve Biloba. Filmed on a Samsung Nexus 5 for around $100 November 2016 to September 2017. Thanks Elton Bong, RyWall, Dennis Tokarski, Dr. Saline Pockets. Starring the above, and the subdued community of New Westminster, British Columbia who inspired this madness.
The first appearance of Baboon Torture Division as a trio with a live drummer. During the show, a remote control decoy duck arrived unexpectedly. Luckily, hamburger clown, Ronald McRonald was there to defend the band. Unrelated to the duck incident, this was the final appearance of the original Pocketron XP as bassist.
Last year Baboon Torture Division recorded the soundtrack to an arcade game called called Onasphere. The concept was basically Space Invaders on a spherical battlefield. The instrumental soundtrack has an appropriately 1980’s flavour with thick synth lines, understated guitar licks, and sparkly reverb. Like the graphics, the sounds are sterile, artificial, spacey, and have an overall light feel. Baboon Torture Division’s signature weird noises and dense percussion are at an all time low here. This is the 1980’s softcore Baboon Torture Division album that nobody asked for. Each track is a seamless loop. For an ideal listening experience, loop each song 3 times, bringing the total album duration to about 45 minutes.
Licensed owners of the full game only can unlock the full length album feature.
Get ready for an evening of space traveling puppets, upsidedown beatboxing, surreal comedy, and unexplainable screaming. Vancouver’s rockingest venue, The Rickshaw Theatre will be hosting Los Angeles based puppetmaster weirdo, David Liebe Hart, along with his new friends, Viktor Barkar (Vancouver Puppet Theatre), noCore, MCFlail, and Baboon Torture Division. Tickets are $13 at the door for fans over 19. Come see what Baboon Torture Division has been cooking up since their mysterious disappearance to the Theta Sector. If you can’t get enough Baboon Torture, we will be playing a sweaty all-night dance party type thing the next night at an undisclosable location (hooray nofun city). Ask around for details. 2016 September 29 $13 19+ 254 E. Hastings Street Vancouver, BC, V6A 1P1 Doors 8:00 PM
Extraterrestrial funckster CS7 acquired a taste for the music of Baboon Torture Division while on an interstellar vacation to Earth’s Miami, Florida. He was attracted to the ripeness of the funk they were laying down and could not believe that so much sound could come from a two piece rock group. He was astonished to find out that the band always played along with pre-recorded drum tracks. The next morning CS7 began day drinking, and by 3 PM was reported to be blackout drunk by staff at A1A Beachfront Avenue. His next recollection was waking up in a hotel room with Baboon Torture Division and discovering that 3 days had passed and he was now the drummer for Baboon Torture Division. Upon receiving news of his good fortune, CS7 and his new bandmates began celebrating and inebriating wildly. The band is busy working on CS7’s catchphrase, which is rumoured to be ‘Hubba Hubba Hubba!’ They are expected to play their first show as a trio in fall 2016.
Here is a video of CS7 and Steve Biloba having a freeform jam at The Ultimate Extreme Music Challenge in early 2016.
This album is a collection of songs which have been previously posted on this website. If you are a hardcore fan, you probably have all these songs already. The purpose of this album is to get these songs into Itunes, Spotify, Amazon, and whatnot. It’s cheaper to get an album into their system than a bunch of singles.
It’s a DJ breakdance throwdown with Fresh Crew and Baboon Torture Division’s lead singer, Steve Biloba, credited here as DJ Stevie B. The Breakdance Sesh is a 44 minute drum solo designed specifically to deliver superior quality audio on the ghettoblaster’s speakers. This recording is intended to fill one side of a 90 minute cassette tape.
Pooping too often will cause nutrients to wash away before they can be absorbed. Pooping too seldom will strain your immune system. Poop everyday to maintain perfect balance. Remember that quality and quantity are as important as frequency if you want perfect poop. The size and consistency of two bananas per day is ideal. It’s time to get serious about your poop because if you never poop, you will die.
Do you dream of being a rockstar but don’t have to time or discipline to learn a real instrument? Would you believe that you could enjoy all perks of rockstardom by simply playing other people’s recordings? It’s that easy. Everybody loves a good DJ. A DJ is, after all, the life of the party. You will gain the respect of your peers. You will get recognized by strangers. You will expand your pool of potential sex partners. You will get to hang out with the cool crowd backstage. Start your DJ career by pressing the play button below. Background Music For A Party 3 is a surefire crowd pleaser. This is the sequel to Background Music For A Party and Background Music For A Party 2 from the 2010 album, Background Music For A Party. This is an upbeat groove with a steady throbbing bass drum at a moderate 120 BPM. During the track’s 10 minute duration, you can wave your hands in the air, do a few dance steps, mess with your headphones, whatever. You will look like a huge pimp, and the pictures will look great on your facebook page.
The Chiptunes Live remix of a 2003 cover of Doktor Kosmos’ 1996 song, Porno Person. This is part of the Baboon Torture Division chiptunes sesh, where live instruments are used to play lo-fi synths, transforming real songs on a real guitar and a real bass. Making it all sound like a gameboy soundtrack through the magic of computers.
Before Sega was leading the 16 bit revolution, videogame soundtracks were created by the bloops and bleeps of dedicated synthesizer chips. Due to the tiny amount of data storage and the minimal synthesis capabilities of the chips, video games from the 8-bit era have a distinct lo-fi sound which is instantly recognizable. Before long, game cartridges were replaced by CD’s and synthesizer chips were replaced by CD quality audio playback. Only a dedicated few hobbyists continued to write music for these obsolete synthesizer chips in relative obscurity. Thanks largely to the rugged construction of the Nintendo Game Boy, and the arrival of the LSDJ Game Boy cartridge in the early 2000’s, musicians found an approachable and straitforward way of playing and composing 8-bit music. Since then, there has been an explosion of young musicians, programmers, and enthusiasts working with the Game Boy and the Commodore 64. Known worldwide as Chiptunes, the 8-bit sound has begun percolating into pop music in recent years, mostly due to it’s rabid, energetic young fans who crave the music’s dense bass lines and dizzingly fast arpeggiated melodies. On January 28th, Seattle Chiptune superstars, Ovenrake and MC Firedrill, will head north to Vancouver’s sassiest record store, The Zoo Zhop and show you how it’s done. It will be Game Boy versus guitar, Commodore 64 versus laptop, as the Seattle chiptunes kids battle local computer rockers, Baboon Torture Division, and IDM mixmaster, Colby Sparks for the North American Welterweight Tittle. $8 admission, $5 coat check. Doors 9pm Show 10pm. The Zoo Zhop is just north of Hastings on Main Street.
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